Reflecting

While watching the graduation episode of Laguna Beach Season 1 I instantly began to feel sad which turned into a few random tears falling down my face. I think the reason of tears is due to the fact I really don't hang out with anyone I went to h.s. with. I really don't hang out with many people at all. A big part of me wishes I had more really close friends I kept in contact with. I knew a lot of people in h.s. and had a blast (especially senior year). I couldn't really tell you what many people I graduated with are doing in 2007. I'm sure some live out of state, some have kids, some are married, some are still doing nothing in life while others are having success. I can't help but to recognize where I am in 2007.

Times like this will make Davey J feel like a loser. I really don't have something that most people I know enjoy, happiness. I don't know where I went wrong in achieving happiness. Perhaps I should have brought my grades up at Macomb and then went on to a major University. Perhaps I should have kept that 1 girl that I use as a form of rating other girls. Perhaps I should have left Michigan to embark on a new journey. I can't help but to think "what if". There are many things in my life which I do enjoy. There are also many things I dislike in my life which I seem to dwell on. The glass is always half empty not half full.

I often dream of moving to L.A. and starting my life there. I choose L.A. because its close to poker unlike Miami and not full of temptations like Vegas. At 23 I find it as hard to leave Michigan as it is to stay in Michigan. Whenever I think about really moving out to L.A. I often think how hard it will be to meet new people and form friendships. I think most people would find it a bit hard to just move across the Country having no friends or family waiting in the new destination. However, at the same time I'm excited for a challenge like this. Leaving my family would be the toughest thing I have ever done (Max included). Maybe I'm not meant to leave just yet?