Heads up poker

I feel this is the ultimate game. It's poker in the purest form. After losing 6 buyins in 1 hour on Stars (6 x $600=$3,600) I took a brake and played 3 tables of $400 buyin no limit and 1 table of $600 buyin heads up. I did well in the $400 game and quit those to play 3 tables of $600 buyin no limit heads up. I won very nice in the heads up game and made back most of my losses(down about $400) on the day. I have never played so poorly as I did on Stars today. My game was off. For starters Ididn't even want to play (this was my first mistake). I then was watching hockey (mistake #2 while playing). I then easily should of quit after losing my first 3 buyins (the next stupid mistake I made). I need to just take a day off if I don't feel like playing. I put so much pressure on myself to excell and become one the best that I often neglect other things in life. It's now 5am and I have played a very tough days worth of poker. My eyes are very sore and I probably made a few spelling errors writing this.

I know I have said it countless times before but my goal is to move out of here. I don't want to live here anymore (in Clinton Twp.) The main reason I haven't moved out is because I dislike renting. I however would love to rent an appartment somewhere near L.A. I want to blow up a little bit bigger first. My dream would be to move in with a few other poker players that are blowing up huge and rent a sick house like these 5 dudes from 2+2 did. They have a sick house in Hermosa Beach.

I'm sleeping like shit. Rozerem is'nt working well at all. I think I will try to get on Ambien or whatever. Hard to fall asleep with the occupation I have. It's hard to sleep for me period, even before poker. I'm gonna watch a little soft- porn on the new channels we have, masterbate, have a cigarette, and get some shuteye. The hot chick in my class I found out has a bf, tough beat for me. I don't usually get involved in that type of shit. Not my style although I have once in the past. It turned into a large mess.

Finally, I don't care to see a lot of people right now or again. I really have nothing in common with most people I used to hang out with. The jealous ones think that I lie about what I do for a living which is childish. I just want to start a new life minus a lot of people that like to hate and are jealous. I mean I have flawless eyebrows and perfect hair, a very cool job, I'm in school, and I get laid more than once a year (jab). I really think very few people can call me out about sleeping with girls over the past 2 years and the ones that can are not close friends ( I obv. leave out my wifed up friends) but yea its a war you can't win. I'm gonna fall asleep and wake up whenever I feel like it and possibly work if I feel like. GET OFF MY FUCKING DICK.